I stopped trying to live up to the expectations of everyone except myself
I got to know myself so that I could authentically be myself
I embraced and learned to love all of my emotions
I learned how to meditate
I learned how to regularly speak life to myself and actively work to challenge and rid myself of negative self-talk
I made friends and regularly spend time with others who challenge and inspire me to be the best I can be and I do the same for them.
I created a mission and vision for myself that resonates with who I am and endeavor to live my mission and vision daily.
You were unwanted and born on a broken condom.
I didn't want you.
Your nothing, and will always be nothing.
Your just like your good for nothing fucked up father.
You can't do shit, because you ain't shit.
You'll never amount to anything!
You're not going to do anything with your life.
Nobody wants you!
You're not worth the pain it took to have you!
You don't deserve anything good.
You're a piece of crap.
All of this words clang in my head like dissonant gongs and cymbals. The majority of the statements came from the woman who gave birth to me. This is the daily chorus that I hear. The cacophony at times is deafening.
I share these things so that they are out there for better or for worse. I know that there are others who have similar phrases floating in their heads. Some have far worse. I share, honestly, because I don't want these things in my head any longer. It is high time to let it out. I share because I want to heal. I share because maybe someone who hears these things can not feel alone and possibly find courage to seek healing for their life.
I was told those things but now I choose to speak up to myself, those who said these things, and to the world and say: Fuck you and your miserable life. Fuck you and your shitty outlook. I no longer take your shit as my own. I choose daily to live and believe that I am worth the air that I breathe. I am a good person who deserves to be happy. I am more than good enough.